This week, a typical Boston beauty has won the chance to exhibit her Lincolnshire charms with the aid of a coveted modelling contract. Pam told 'The Paragraph' in an exclusive interview: "Its well fucking good! I tell ya! All my mates are well fucking jealous!"

Pam, 35, says she will devote her new earnings to her three young children: Kain, Kylie and Jason, who where excited at the prospect of her mothers new occupation. "I can't believe it!" said six year old Kain, "My friends are gonna be so pissed off. Me mam and Adrian said I could have a quad bike".

Pam from Woad Farm Road, Boston won the contract after her husband, Adrian, sent her photograph to a well known gentleman's magazine. Jobless Adrian, 28, submitted the photo "for a laugh" but it now acting as Pam's agent and manager following the surprise contract. "I was well made-up" said Adrian yesterday, "I only sent it in for a laugh and I never expected any of this, its fucking brilliant!"

Daughter Kylie, 12, said she now dreams of following in her mothers footsteps; "Its well bad, I'm gonna be like me mam. If that bitch can do it then I fucking can. What the fuck are you looking at mongol?"

It was so uplifting to see the Boston Standard's special 'Advertising Feature' this week. Last week they covered the story hitting the national press about Boston's obesity problems, but of course any self respecting capitalist should always be ready to seize a money making opportunity. This week they took advantage of thousands of peoples misery, by using the obesity epidemic to gain extra advertising revenue from fitness centres and diet organisations. It is good to see that something positive can be gained from widespread death and disease.

The Standard almost attempt to provide a public service by pointing out the many sporting and fitness facilities around the Boston area. However, the great mass of obese people are not overweight due to a lack of knowledge of where they can play Badminton. It is an issue of sloth and gluttony. It is about filling your mouth with pleasure instead of filling yourself with fuel. But why do you need to fuel a body, when a seat in front of Footballers Wives and a face full of convenience is all you desire. Obesity is a WIN WIN situation for anyone with anything to sell; you sell food to make them fat, then sell diet books and exercise machines to purge them of their excesses. But they will never be free from obesity; their is no profit to be made from a cure. You will only continue to cash-in while they continue to consume.

This weeks Boston Standard's headline story is about infant mortality rates : MORE BABIES DIE IN BOSTON THAN ANYWHERE ELSE

This is a rather sensationalist and inaccurate headline (and so therefore must be commended), scanning further through the story a reader will discover in fact that Boston does NOT have the highest infant mortality rate of ANYWHERE ELSE, but instead, ANYWHERE in the COUNTRY. The Standard quote that the infant mortality rate in Boston is more than 1% of births, however we still have some way to go before beating Sierra Leone with a rate of 28%. Any dead baby is extremely distressing and indeed bad news, so I wonder if next week we will see a Boston Standard special advertising feature on this? Maybe extra revenue can be gained from funeral directors willing to advertise in the feature. I suggest The Standard could offer a special discount for messages and death notices; dead twins = buy one get one free. Remember, its not a problem - its an opportunity.

Today, national coverage has been given to a major Government study documenting 'health profiles' of the countries regions. This study has not only shown the continuance of a 'North - South Divide' in matters of health but also shows Boston, Lincolnshire as the sweating, lumbering 'fat man' of the country.

ITV inform us that; "Boston in Lincolnshire has the highest number of people with obesity in England", while the BBC go with; "Almost one in three of the population in Boston is clinically obese - making it, officially, the fattest place in England". In the same Government study, the UK is shown as the fattest country in Europe, therefore making Boston the fattest place in the fattest European nation.

This information is of no surprise to anyone that has ever shopped in the town's heaving supermarkets. Waddling giants fill the aisles, pushing themselves and huge overladen trolleys full of pre-packaged disease. THEY will tell you the problem is 'glandular' or 'big bones', but the BBC have other ideas: "They smoke, they don't eat healthily and the men can expect to die five years earlier than their counterparts in Saffron Walden."

The BBC makes a comparison with a similar rural town, Saffron Walden in North West Essex. Both towns are surrounded by healthy produce such as fruit and vegetables, but it seems only one takes advantage of its own output. Twin this with Boston's title of 'Laziest Town In England' and we have a fairly depressing outlook.

Boston is not the MOST deprived area in the UK, though certainly partakes in the culture of deprivation. Smoking is still 'cool' around Boston's council estates; baseball caps and cigarettes are the chosen attire for a kid around town. Watery beer and fatty kebabs are eagerly consumed in a parents night out, where the only exercise is a violent fight outside your chosen nightclub. As the BBC state: "It seems that how we live and how we die is cultural as much as economic".

Health minister Caroline Flint says; "we always pursue a route of least resistance. Parents are not always embracing healthy eating and active lifestyles as it is perceived to be too challenging". This is not good news for a town considered to be the 'Laziest Town In England' as surely anything 'challenging' will not be entered into. Healthy lifestyles need to be made 'easy' in order for the 'lazy' to change their culture of unhealthy consumption. Dr Ian Campbell, medical director of the charity Weight Concern, said: "we need to change the environment and make it easier for people to be healthy, with measures such as cutting the aggressive marketing of unhealthy foods and making it safer for people to cycle or walk"

In Boston it is easier to be fat and lazy than it is to be healthy. It is easier to get in the car than to get on a bike and risk being killed on the busy roads. It is easier to drive across town than it is to walk and avoid cyclists on pavements. It is easier to buy fatty convenience food, than it is to read labels or prepare fresh ingredients.

Unfortunately, we are just slaves to consumerism; it will always be easier to eat what is financially beneficial for producers to produce. Fat and chemicals are cheaper than reality, cheaper than real honest food with real nutrients and energy. It is cheaper to produce a mixture of sugar, citric acid and colourings than it is to squeeze an orange. To change the health of Boston, Lincolnshire it must be made harder and more challenging to become obese than it is today. The people of Boston cannot be 'bothered' to do anything difficult, so producers and supermarkets must make it more difficult for consumers to find and buy items that make people fat and lazy. Unfortunately this will never happen while easy profit can be made from the selling of saturated fat.

The full study can be downloaded HERE in PDF format.